And here it begins... After being single this entire year I finally meet someone that I like and seems to like me too.. We've been on 4 dates.. which never happens to me.. I usually never make it past 2 dates.. Its not that I am meeting bad guys, crazy guys, or just plain jerks.. I have met some really great people but the chemistry hasn't been there.. I liked them and was happy to have met them but no sparks.. these are guys that I like enough to fix them up with someone I know but they just weren't for me.. and I NEVER play matchmaker.. I spent all summer trying to figure out why I was being so picky.. I don't want to settle into something just to be in a relationship.. To me it needs to be the "right" relationship.. otherwise its just a waste of both of our times.. I am a bit blunt and don't want to lead anyone on...

Ok Now I like this guy.. things are going good and moving along.. and my nerouses take over.. since its so slow at work.. I have too much time to think.. I am over thinking all of it.. I sit here and anticipate emails from him.. I used to get them a couple times a day .. but now I am lucky if I get one at all.. so when I send them I am feeling like a pest.. I am not waiting for his calls, but I always hoping to talk to him.. I look forward to seeing him every chance I get.. I am worried I am getting too invested too soon.. and feel like I will drive him away... and that is the last thing I want... We are both so busy its going to be difficult to make time for each other.. its a good thing I am good at time management.. I thrive on chaos and over booking.. somehow I always get everything accomplished and everything gets taken care of.. I need the stress as a motivator.. otherwise I get lazy and useless..

I am just hoping I am not getting ahead of myself... I hate the feeling of fear, of the unknown.. I like having a bit of security.. just something that I know he is interested and wants to keep trying... Is that too much to ask?? or is it to soon to expect that.. Its been almost a month.. I don't know it's been so long since I have been in the dating world.. I don't know what is normal.. what people are doing.. what is acceptable?? I am trying not to get my hopes up... but still acting all silly like a teenagers.. its fun to have something to look forward to and be giddy about...