Professional

Well its Monday morning, I made it through an entire week at this new job. Not sure how long I can last here. There is not enough to do and everything here is extremely illogical. I had forgotten what it was like to work in a corporation.. It takes so many layers of people to get anything accomplished, not only that but everyone wants to pass the buck. I was used to HAVING to do it all myself. Its an extremely hard adjustment.

Personal

Well I am in a sort relationshipl sort of not.. I don't even know what the Eff is going on. Let me describe this if I can without too much anger and too much detail.
I met this guy over a year ago, we dated for a few months.. he dumped me to go back to his ex... somehow we stayed friends.. hanging out occassionally. Well the reconcilation didn't last.. I think maybe 3 whole weeks.. So we are friends and he wants to "take me out" again, funny how that works huh? So I reluctantly agree.. we have a good time even though things are a bit awkward.. but I know I am not willing to get involved again, I should NOT have gone.. but alas we are friends and discussed it. I do NOT want to be any more than friends.. We are still friends and still hanging out.. nothing more.. hes dating others and so am I. I am finding it difficult to find someone that I connect with. we talk about the dates, the bad the good.. like friends would.. recently hes seems jealous.. but I can't understand why.. hes the one with the revolving door of women (his words not mine). A couple weeks ago while we were out ( on a thursday i think). Hes complaining about random things.. drinking too much.. getting into a bad mood.. Hes discussing how he wants a relationship blah blah blah... which is the opposite of anything he ever wanted before, but he's drunk and chalk it up to drunk and lonely.. He asked me to come up to his place get his dog for a walk and they will walk me to my car... Here is where it gets bizarre.

He gets behind me, wraps his arms around me and tells me he loves me. For once in my life I was speechless... If it had been a year ago I would have bee estatic..but now too much has happened and I know too much about him... the more I learned, the more he was like my ex.. No way am I knowingly getting involved with an alcholic. Too many mood swings and problems to go along with that..

So needless to say things are awkard.. I think he tinks we're working on a relationship but as for me I don't want that not one bit. I want to find my forever... no more random dating and putting up with crap..

Life in General

Well after watching Da Bears(4-0) kick ass last night, I got to hear the Superbowl shuffle on the radio on my way to work and after that was an old Posion song.. ( my favorite hair band from HS).. then a Beatles song after that... how strange a conbintion on the radio.. but made for a pleasant drive...