Seether:
Current mood: hopeful


"Fuck It"

I guess I like it when we play
(The way you drag me down)
I guess I like it when you hate me
(The way you drag me down)
Cause I can't face myself in a mirror
(I'm left alone with all my pain)
And I disgrace myself in the mirror
(I'm left alone with my shame)

Fuck it! I see you in me
Fuck it! I feel you in me
Fuck it! I'll heal you in me
Fuck it! I see you in me
Fuck it! I feel you in me
Fuck it! I'll heal you in me

I guess I like it when we fight
(The way you drag me down)
I guess I like it when you smite me
(The way you drag me down)
Cause I can't face myself in a mirror
(I'm left alone with all my pain)
And I disgrace myself in the mirror
(I'm left alone with my shame)

Fuck it! I see you in me
Fuck it! I feel you in me
Fuck it! I'll heal you in me
Fuck it! I see you in me
Fuck it! I feel you in me
Fuck it! I'll heal you in me

You're out of luck - can't get a piece of me
It's all blown up. Don't even fuck with me.
I cannot please you all forever
I cannot please you at all
(I can feel you coming up behind me)

Fuck it! I see you in me
Fuck it! I feel you in me
Fuck it! I'll heal you in me
Fuck it! I see you in me
Fuck it! I feel you in me
Fuck it! I'll heal you in me

Wrong As Usual
Current mood: disappointed

If figures that when I find someone I like..Who genuinely seems to like me back...BOOOM.. totally wrong. After no reponse for a few days... I get (via email) a message saying that he is "kinda" back with his old girlfriend... He failed to mention that he had an ex that was still around.... oh well. I didn't specifically ask if there was anyone else.. I guess I should have..... Obvioulsy he would rather go back to someone he Either dumped or someone that dumped him... than start something new.... His loss and that relationship is bound to fail again considering it already has once.. *sigh* there will be someone else for me even it things look bleek.

Somewhere else to be - by VAST

Every time that I cry out
No one ever comes to me
Every time that I reach out
No one ever rescues me
I wish I could hide from everyone
Is there somewhere else to be
Is there somewhere else to be
Take me in
I want out
That's all I need
I wish I could run from everything
Is there somewhere else to be
Is there somewhere else to be
Take me in
I want out
That's all I need




Just when you thought.....
Current mood: giggly

you'd never find someone you liked. After what seems like millions of bad dates....I might have found someone worth spending time with. Its still early so I will have to keep you posted..We have a lot of common but there is still a lot to learn.....

Time for something new
Current mood: hopeful

I feel like in the last week my life has turned upside down yet again...In and out of the same relationship gets so tiring and so stressful... I FINALLY said goodbye for good.. time for a NEW start... So I have planned out just about every minute of my free time so I don't relive all the drama...So far so good...

Currently reading :
Good in Bed
By Jennifer Weiner
Release date: By 02 April, 2002

"Easy" Button
Current mood: exhausted

I keep seeing all the comercials with an "easy" button..
I never remember what they are for, but I want an "easy" button.
I want to life to return to when things were easy...
I think that was about age 10 or so..
Can I please keep all my knowledge though???
There are so many things I wish I could change, so many mistakes.
Yeah Yeah we learn from mistakes...
I need to repeat them a few times before I learn.

On a different note, I had softball practice on Sat..
Its been 10 years at least since I played softball.
That couple hours single handedly made me feel my age.
I can barely move and tonight is our first game..
Yet another reason i wish I was 10 again.. you body is still a rubberband... no aches and pains...
how wonderful that would be.

White Flag
Current mood: hopeful

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
Or tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up in surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules that it's over
then I'm sure that that makes sense
But I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Everything
Current mood: chipper

I can be an asshole of the grandest kind
I can withhold like it’s going out of style
I can be the moodiest baby that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who is as positive as I am sometimes

I am the wisest woman you've ever met.
I am the kindest soul with whom you've connected.
I have the bravest heart that you've ever seen
And you've never met anyone
Who's as positive as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

I blame everyone else, not my own partaking
My passive-aggressiveness can be devastating
I'm terrified and mistrusting
And you’ve never met anyone as,
As closed down as I am sometimes.

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

What I resist, persists, and speaks louder than I know
What I resist, you love, no matter how low or high I go

You see everything, you see every part
You see all my light and you love my dark
You dig everything of which I'm ashamed
There's not anything to which you can’t relate
And you’re still here

And you’re still here
And you're still here...

I feel like ranting....

Sometimes I wonder what year it actually is.. It kills me that women are using their body and their looks to get ahead in life.. what happened to using your brain and working hard to get things.. You all give the rest of us a bad name.. The wholel whining and batting your eyelashes to get what you want has got to go...

My Intelligence Test Results....LOL

Twich, you're smartest when it comes to Social Intelligence

People who score highly in social intelligence may be healthier than their less socially intelligent peers. This is true because people who have stronger relationships and wider social networks tend to be less susceptible to illness than lonely people.

I Will Always Love You
Current mood: sad

If I Should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go But I know
I'll think of you every step of the way

And I... Will always Love you, oohh
Will always Love you
You My darling you Mmm-mm

Bittersweet Memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So good-bye Please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you You need
And I... Will always love you
I... Will always love you
You, ooh

I hope life treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've dreamed of
And I wish you joy and happiness
But above all this I wish you love

And I... Will always love you
I... Will always love you
I, I will always love You....
You Darling I love you I'll always
I'll always Love You..
Oooh Ooohhh

What a waste of time....

Love is a waste of time.
It only leads to pain and heartache.

You Are 27 Years Old

27 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40 : You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

*this is shockingly accurate.. I didn't expect it to be...lol

Not my Favorite singer but I like the lyrics...

Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

Like We Never Had a Broken Heart

Don't be afraid to hold me tight
You know I won't break in two
What we're doing here tonight
Sure beats what we're going through

We both loved and lost before
We know the sadness it can bring
Tonight, let's close the door
And hold on to the nearest thing

Let's keep hangin' on
So we won't fall apart
Let's make love tonight
Like we never had a broken heart

Don't be afraid to close your eyes
Pretend I'm someone that you love
And I won't have to tell you lies
'Cause it's not you I'm thinkin' of

Tonight, we'll just pretend
We've been in love right from the start
Let's make love again
Like we never had a broken heart

Oh, let's make love again
Like we never had a broken heart
Don't be afraid to close your eyes


* I dont' even know this song but I loved the lyrics...

Its a New Year
Current mood: optimistic

Its time to adhear to all those resolutions. I have soo many i don't know where to begin.
1. I plan on getting into shape same as 99% of the population.. but not so i look good to other, I want to feel better about myself!
2. I decided to leave a painful and abusive relationship in 2004 and not drag it along into a new year..
3. I decided that I am the most important thing in my life, and resolve to make myself happy for once.

Yeah ME!

Family?
Current mood: contemplative

After having talked to my Brother and my sister in the last couple days.
We have all turned out very different from each other.
None of us look alike.. we all believe in different things.
But we do have one thing in common
Everyone of us has terrible luck when it comes to relationships.
Our parents were happily married for 34 years.. but not one of us has been able to find someone that deserves that kind of a commitment.
I would have never guess that that is something that would run in the family

How Do you go on?

I am finding mysled alone in this world
Truely all alone
I thought I had everything figured out
but everything came crashing down
What now???
What do I do?
My faith has vanished.
I don`t understand anything anymore
Nothing makes any sense to me
How could I have been so blind for so long?
Why did I trust? Why did I believe in us?
Why did I think love could survive everything?
How naive I am?
I never once thought that any of this would happen..

There isn`t anything I can do..
Nothing I say matters..
Nothing I do makes a difference...
I feel completely hopeless..
Completely useless...
Nothing seem important..
Nothing matters anymore...
Its just me alone with my thoughts..
Such a lonely place my heart has become without you

Trust is such a fragile thing...
Takes soo long to get but can be destroyed in an instant..
How can I get you to trust me again...
I don`t know what to do.....
How can I earn it back????
Maybe it`s not possible..
I would give anything...
Try anything...
Just to get you to trust me again....
I love you with all my heart and all my soul..
I don`t want to be without you my love...
You are the only one I have ever wanted, ever needed.
I felt something the first moment we met, and six months later I was head over heals in love.
You`re the end of the line, the only person in this world I want to spend the rest of my life with.
Please don`t give up on me...