From November 2018
I think I have spent the better part of almost 2 years lost, withdrawn, overstressed, highly anxious, mostly completely miserable.
Basically, the Music Stopped.
Literally, I haven't been listening to music, I had canceled my Spotify to save monies but hated the free version since I couldn't pick the songs. So eventually just stopped using it. I started reading more on the train to and from work. but on a packed train when I have to stand it was even hard to read the Kindle. So then I would just think and think and think. hatch plans and schemes but never started them or finished them.
I can specifically remember life events by what song was playing, I can remember what I was doing the first time I heard certain songs, I can even remember what year things happened by what music I was listening to at that specific time. It has always been a big GIANT part of my life. Not just because its music, most everyone likes music. It marks points in history. Makes me happy. Helps me cope... Its an outlet, an escape
I haven't felt well, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
The ball was dropped on EVERYTHING. I've lost friends and family. My anxiety has kept me home, avoiding all things social.
I am trying to get back to things but trying to do it all at once, I am getting overwhelmed and just not doing any of it.
Its crunch time, I made the decision to go back to school, to finish my Master's Degree. In order for me to be successful, I need to start out organized. I am trying to finish up my purging, getting my house in order, EVERYTHING needs a place and it needs to be in its own place and stay in it.
This is how I want my life to be, living, existing in the chaos is stressing me out completely and turning me into something, someone I do not like. I refuse to stay this empty shell. I refuse to give up. I am taking back the control.
I think I have spent the better part of almost 2 years lost, withdrawn, overstressed, highly anxious, mostly completely miserable.
Basically, the Music Stopped.
Literally, I haven't been listening to music, I had canceled my Spotify to save monies but hated the free version since I couldn't pick the songs. So eventually just stopped using it. I started reading more on the train to and from work. but on a packed train when I have to stand it was even hard to read the Kindle. So then I would just think and think and think. hatch plans and schemes but never started them or finished them.
I can specifically remember life events by what song was playing, I can remember what I was doing the first time I heard certain songs, I can even remember what year things happened by what music I was listening to at that specific time. It has always been a big GIANT part of my life. Not just because its music, most everyone likes music. It marks points in history. Makes me happy. Helps me cope... Its an outlet, an escape
I haven't felt well, physically, mentally, or emotionally.
The ball was dropped on EVERYTHING. I've lost friends and family. My anxiety has kept me home, avoiding all things social.
I am trying to get back to things but trying to do it all at once, I am getting overwhelmed and just not doing any of it.
Its crunch time, I made the decision to go back to school, to finish my Master's Degree. In order for me to be successful, I need to start out organized. I am trying to finish up my purging, getting my house in order, EVERYTHING needs a place and it needs to be in its own place and stay in it.
This is how I want my life to be, living, existing in the chaos is stressing me out completely and turning me into something, someone I do not like. I refuse to stay this empty shell. I refuse to give up. I am taking back the control.
